Tag Archive | laugh

Bigger issues

During a conversation with a friend the other day, something she said made me stop and correct her – in a nice way, not a judgemental way. We were in the midst of a discussion that was basically a tennis match of issues. Hers, then mine, then hers, then mine… you get the idea. At one point, she said to me, “…my issues are not as important…”. Wait a minute, yes they are! Why are her issues not as important as mine? Of course they are, they’re her issues, they’re important to her. There’s no comparing when it comes to sharing your issues with a friend. We all have our issues and no one can tell you that your issues are less important, and neither should you even consider that. A true friend will rate your issues as important as their own. You can help each other to get those problems out there for discussion, find solutions or simply talk your heads off with a bottle of bubbles close by to simply alleviate the stress that they cause. A problem shared and all that.

One thing I’ve learnt over the years of dealing with ‘issues’ is that you cannot put them on a scale from 1 – 10 of importance. They are all equally important. Yes there are problems that we have to deal with on a daily basis in our civilised world that might seem insignificant in comparision to those dealing with ‘third world’ issues; nevertheless, they are our problems and they cause us stress, heartache and sadness. Never beat yourself up for feeling bad about something, it’s your bad time and you’re allowed to feel crap about that. The best thing to do is find someone who you can trust to share that bad time with and thrash it out. You might not solve it, but you’ll have a damn good try and possibly find something to laugh about as well.

Happy Wednesday everyone! I’m off to drink bubbles then to the theatre to see Sunset Boulevard – with a very good friend – therapy!

 

Game changer

When you find your life has all of a sudden taken an unexpected turn, it’s a bit tricky to be rational about choices and decisions. The first step to getting over this is to acknowledge when the irrational is merely a consequence of one’s situation and at that point, you need to grab it by the horns and battle the anxiety & angst head on.

One thing that I’ve learnt about myself over the last 20 years (from dealing with marriage, children, divorce, re-educating, new career, relationships, friendships…) is that you can never plan things, not really. Yes you can feel smug that you’ve got your diary filled with wonderful social events, meetings, work commitments and the odd holiday or weekend away; but when it comes to it, none of these are certain. Keeping an open mind about things not going quite to plan is a healthy way of dealing with life in general. If we’re too caught up with sticking to those diary entries, it becomes a relentless personal challenge to attempt perfection.

What’s so wrong about trying to get things right? Nothing, but sometimes it’s the getting things wrong that leads us to making better choices in the future. If we can come to terms with the mistakes that we make then we can learn from them and improve on the decision making process when faced with new challenges.

I love my work, but it’s not always as creative as I would like it to be. Recently I’ve realised that some of the work that I’ve been doing isn’t really challenging me in the way that allows me to grow my skills as a designer. It’s all about finding the balance and sometimes you have to say ‘no more’ and make that decision to change things. I did just that. I finished a job that was leading nowhere. When you look around, after three years, to find evidence of all your hard work and really can’t find it, you have to question whether your hard work is really what that business wants, despite what they  might need. Sometimes you have to deal with attitudes that are not prepared to accept that the world is changing, that they need to embrace those changes, enjoy them and reap the benefits. The penny finally dropped, I was wasting my time and energy, and my creativity was being stifled.

Time to exit. Time to move on. Time to think rationally and time to turn my life back around to a place that makes me happy and makes my kids happy. Looking after number one maybe a selfish thing to admit to, but it is necessary. My game changer moment has been a tough one, but certainly not something that I regret.

Being able to smile and laugh at life is sometimes a challenge, but one that should have a firm appointment in all our busy diaries. Have a damn good day!


 


 

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